Santa Satire Fan Gifts

'Well of course I'm not Santa! He contracts out!'

'What do you mean you don't rent helicopters?' (Santa shot all his reindeer)

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"You'd like a last cigarette?..Well,I don't know.Have you been a good boy this year?"

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

I brake for Jetliners.

"That'll be 50 bucks."

Christmas Joy, Peace and Goodwill.

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Elfie Stick

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

A Creature WAS Stirring

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"I noticed a few browns."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Merry Christmas

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"I've made a terrible mistake."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Santa-Can at the North Pole.

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

Everything for a buck.