Sales Satire Fan Gifts

'At least, the customers still remember our company, our products and me...'

'Yes, I know our ad said that no salesman would call -- my boss says I'm no salesman.'

'Well, you don't like the contract terms, you don't like the prices, you don't think that you need our products in general... hmmm. Maybe I can convince you with a hook right into your face?!'

Salesman caught by irate customer.

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Director/Action Man toy.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

What's normal?

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

The Working Woman's Magazine

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Parade of Businessmen

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.