Humor In Sales Fan Gifts

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

Man asking why the lamp in the picture doesn't come with the bicycle

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

'What's the secret of my success? I almost always act slowly on my bad ideas.'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

'Did you make any sales?' 'I got two orders: 'get out' and 'stay out!''

Door to door salesman selling anti aging cream

"I'm sorry, but the only 0% offer we can give you is the 0% chance of being accepted..."

'Well, you don't like the contract terms, you don't like the prices, you don't think that you need our products in general... hmmm. Maybe I can convince you with a hook right into your face?!'

'At least, the customers still remember our company, our products and me...'

Pharmaceutical sales rep Jules Halm loved to sport his 'jacket of 1,000 pills.'

Six hundred quid for a storage case! Yes sir, but you get a free router.

They were the Magnificent Seven of Sales, but two of them were sick that day.

Salesman caught by irate customer.

'These days, we don't encourage customers to make themselves at home anymore.'

"Reliability?? But what about the dunamic color combo and the satisfying exhaust notes?"

'Yes, I know our ad said that no salesman would call -- my boss says I'm no salesman.'

'The justified death of a salesman'

Attention, Kmart shoppers

"You have been specially selected to help test a new aphrodisiac"

'Of course this product is completely useless! The deal is, you pay me for keeping the lousy thing!'