Retail Satire Fan Gifts

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Director/Action Man toy.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

What's normal?

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

The Working Woman's Magazine

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

How am I abducting?

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Parade of Businessmen

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

The Snarky District

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'