Retail Humor Fan Gifts

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

"Second door on your left, just past the beef jerky..." "The spy who came in from the cold to use the bathroom"

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

"If the sale was LAST week why still advertise it?"

'Can I interest you in our frequent shopper discount card?'

'Akme sales' 'out for a spiel'

Pop-up shop...

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Seven deadly sins store

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Man asking why the lamp in the picture doesn't come with the bicycle

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Shop signs.

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

The eskimo lottery...

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

The 29p Shop

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

'If anyone calls, I've gone to look for Wally.'