Lover Of Retail Humor Gifts

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"How much is the sign?"

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Shop signs.

Great moments in shopping

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

The 29p Shop

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

Fresh milk - Self service

Pop-up shop...

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.