Retail Humor Fans Gifts

"It's not quite the same."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Seven deadly sins store

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Man asking why the lamp in the picture doesn't come with the bicycle

Shop signs.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

The 29p Shop

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Pop-up shop...

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

"If the sale was LAST week why still advertise it?"