Retail Humor Enthusiast Gifts

A new Walmart store will be built on this site.

Complaints and Excuses.

'And I want that in small, unmarked gift cards!'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

"Can you throw this away for me?"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

SupermarketAwful Market.

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

"How much is the sign?"

'He's chasing the market.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

Seven deadly sins store

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.