Retail Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Complaints and Excuses.

'And I want that in small, unmarked gift cards!'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

"Can you throw this away for me?"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

'He's chasing the market.'

"How much is the sign?"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

Seven deadly sins store

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."