Lover Of Retail Humor Pillows

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"How much is the sign?"

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Great moments in shopping

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

The 29p Shop

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Fresh milk - Self service

Pop-up shop...

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

Breakages must be paid for