Retail Humor Fans Pillows

"It's not quite the same."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Seven deadly sins store

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

Man asking why the lamp in the picture doesn't come with the bicycle

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

The 29p Shop

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Pop-up shop...

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

'Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?'

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'