Retail Humor Lover Gifts

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Supermarkets

'Why do I have to go through here?' 'In case you have any money left.'

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

Seven deadly sins store

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

SAGE (unknown model)

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Shop signs.

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

The 29p Shop

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Pop-up shop...

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

“Ever thought of changing your name?”