Retail Humor Lover Gifts

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Supermarkets

'Why do I have to go through here?' 'In case you have any money left.'

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"How much is the sign?"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

SAGE (unknown model)

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

The 29p Shop

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

Pop-up shop...

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."