Retail Humor Aficionado Gifts

Men's Clothing. Shirts. Sale. Yes, sir, one size does fit all, but it's not that size.

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

'Would you put this on hold for me?'

The 29p Shop

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Sale.

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"How much is the sign?"

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

Great moments in shopping

Shop signs.

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'Let me through... I'm a retail therapist.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."