Retail Comedian Gifts

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Stock Market Research and Analysis

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

Seven deadly sins store

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

The 29p Shop

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"Do you have the time? We need to be home before Christmas shopping season ends."

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

"And now a reading from the catalogs of Saint Paul."

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

Pop-up shop...

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Hardware. No, I haven't always wanted to do this ... I said I'm taking inventory and these are on my bucket list.

'Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?'

He doesn't look sorry!

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."