Safety Monitors Gifts

"You spoil that child!"

Now 7 days since anybody ate anybody. Let's keep it going!

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

The new global mantra flag for the future

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Nuclear waste.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Wear a helmet