Sewing Safety Monitor Gifts

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

I quilt therefore I am

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

Wear a helmet

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

Pollsters

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."

Zorro, The Embroiderer

'I wear safety glasses at work and I still don't feel safe.'

A woman repairs a broken heart.

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

"Have they decided not to have M-day."

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

'You need a new bobbin.'

'So next time we help a customer take from a pyramid stack, which can should we choose ?'

Bias Tape

Sewing A Christmas Dress.

'I think of it as mending pants, not splicing jeans.'

'Better check out what Dr. Figowitz is working on these days.'

Man reading report with safety belt on.

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

'Gee,that's an unusual assortment! What kind of buttons are those? 'Belly...'

"I see your son has a summer job."

Elias Howe