Safety Monitor Gifts

'I haven't found anything wrong yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

'Better check out what Dr. Figowitz is working on these days.'

"I can't relax. It feels like I'm being watched."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Time Out For Teddy

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

The new global mantra flag for the future

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Wear a helmet

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Is this what they call inherent safety?