Safety Technician Gifts

'It's so nice outside today. Why don't we skip the drive and take a nice walk into a wall?'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"I spy with my little eye…"

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Crash Test Dummy Blues

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Nuclear waste.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Nice park. . .

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."