Safe Technician Gifts

"Only thing he can't crack is why is wife would just up and leave."

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

Battery Lighthouse

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Fixing the TV.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Early Tech Support

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.