Bomb Technician Gifts

Bird landing on detonator.

"I always put things off until the last minute."

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

High speed cinder block

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

Fixing the TV.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Early Tech Support

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

Lithium Fair