Safety Inspectors Gifts

'Let me get this straight... You say you had no steering or brakes, and your car just ran into the wall on its own?'

'Bob will be Godzilla in this structural integrity test.'

'... And as you're a health and safety officer, we'll rule out anyone who says they 'like to live dangerously'.'

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

This "fire" thing is great, but where will we attach the warning label?

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Wear a helmet

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty