Safety Inspectors Gifts

'Let me get this straight... You say you had no steering or brakes, and your car just ran into the wall on its own?'

'Bob will be Godzilla in this structural integrity test.'

'... And as you're a health and safety officer, we'll rule out anyone who says they 'like to live dangerously'.'

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Wear a helmet

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

The hall of bad ideas.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Folding Container.

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."