Car Safety Inspector Gifts

"This new car is great, it practically crashes itself."

'His airbag must have over inflated.'

GM recall

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

Nuclear waste.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

The hall of bad ideas.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Wear a helmet

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'