Safety Inspections Gifts

Think Zero Defects

"Can't see any potential problems here."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Time Out For Teddy

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Nuclear waste.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Office of quality assurance"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Wear a helmet