Workplace Safety Inspector Gifts

Warning Slippery Floor

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"We need a union!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Nuclear waste.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty