Workplace Safety Inspector Gifts

Warning Slippery Floor

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"We need a union!'

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Time Out For Teddy

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Nuclear waste.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"