Health And Safety Inspector Gifts

Health and safety nightmare.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

'The Health and Safety guy doesn't look very happy...I hope we're not gonig to fail the inspection.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'The inspectors will never find us here!'

"I don't think we've time for a risk-reward analysis."

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

'No, no Mrs Watkins. Wrapping children in cotton wool flies in the face of all our health and safety guidelines. It's a terrible choke hazard.'

'I'm the new safety officer.'

'I'm in a very high position, that's why the industrial safety guy told me that I need this parachute, so I don't get hurt if I should fall.'

''Health and Safety Executive.' We believe your husband is an accident is waiting to happen.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Look, personally I've got no problem with the albatross but you know how 'Health and Safety' play up, Simon. . .'

"The safety performance chart fell on me!"

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

'I'm from Health & Safety...I wonder if I might have a word...'

'Chestnuts? What about allergies?' And on an OPEN fire?'

"The government inspectors are very good. They'll notice."

"Lead paint - they're being recalled."

"Where are the fire exits?"

"If you want santa to visit. You'll have to widen this chimney."

"It's from Health and Safety, we have to put rubber tips on our arrows and only aim at people's shins!"

The bad news is that there was an accident yesterday. The good news is that the sausages are free today.'

"Cuckoo-CRASH. Cuckoo-CRASH."

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

'I call it 'Health and Safety'.'

'For a moment there I thought I wasn't going to find any unsafe conditions at this job site.'

Morbid evidence showing a high dive went terribly wrong!

'Oh, I don't think so. I'm surprised that thing is still afloat!'

'All this just because the hydraulic thingamajiggy slipped.'

French Farmers - "Is this feed approved by ze soil association? - "Oui, ze night soil association."

1590: A visit from the health and safety inspector.

"Wait a minute - Where's the fire escape?"