Health Inspectors Gifts

'... And as you're a health and safety officer, we'll rule out anyone who says they 'like to live dangerously'.'

F&E Diner. The TSA agent turned health inspector didn't find any violations. Our soup is on the "no-fly" list.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Fire door.

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"I'm going in."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

Air Pollution Threat

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Rusk Assessment Form

"IS this an unauthorised social gathering?"

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

307 days without an accident.

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

Food inspection results

'Sick bucket for table sixteen.'

"Did you hear - we're being transferred from bomb-sniffing to trans fats."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

'Fish store' 'All our products are dolphin-safe, whale-safe, turtle-safe, seahorse-safe.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"