Health Inspection Gifts

"...And how much overweight were those mice?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

PSA Banter.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Fire door.

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Office of quality assurance"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"I'm going in."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'