Health Inspectors Pillows

'... And as you're a health and safety officer, we'll rule out anyone who says they 'like to live dangerously'.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

HELLth Food Sprouts

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Fire door.

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"I'm going in."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'Fish store' 'All our products are dolphin-safe, whale-safe, turtle-safe, seahorse-safe.'

Rusk Assessment Form

'Sick bucket for table sixteen.'

Morbid evidence showing a high dive went terribly wrong!

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Did you hear - we're being transferred from bomb-sniffing to trans fats."

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

"IS this an unauthorised social gathering?"

Food inspection results

307 days without an accident.

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

Air Pollution Threat

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'