Rural Story Fan Gifts

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

Please Drove Carefully.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

Twitter that!

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'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

Mummy?!

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Your barn door's open.'

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

Stunt Fly flying through a cow.

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'Uh? A female vet?'

Scrooge McCow

'I told her not to follow me!'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'What's that smell?'

Barns

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Sheepdog protecting his master from road rage.

Close, but no cigar!

'Look, Dad - that's the sixth time she swallowed the same gum.'