Rural Humor Fan Gifts

"You're in my spot!"

I'm a Smart-Cow!

Close, but no cigar!

If anyone offers you a headswap, just say no!

'Sure, the farmer always shouts or whistles at me, but deep down, he's a softy...'

'Did you see Doctor Who last night?'

"We're twenty head of cattle, but I've never figured out who reports to us."

'My neighbor hates to fix fence...'

"We are going to un-friend you on facebook, you see if we don't!"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

COWS: Spare cow

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Nice six-pack!