Rural Comedy Fan Gifts

"A little to the left. No, too far. Go back three inches and straight down."

'Those plug in air-fresheners seem to do the trick.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

I fart more than that!

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

COWS: Spare cow

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Early American Think tank

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Close, but no cigar!

"I stink... therefore, I am."

Clancy Strip: Out of Business

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

Cow cleaning his teeth with string.

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

'Got any cud flavour?'

"Can you milk a cow?"

'It's got all the original features.'