Rural Comedy Lover Gifts

"Oh no, he's just built a snowman! No gloves! Milking time! Cold hands! Cold hands!"

"Oh lord, I think we're in a Japanese horror movie!"

Knock Down - This Billboard only $495.

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

COWS: Spare cow

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Close, but no cigar!

'Got any cud flavour?'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

"Can you milk a cow?"

"I stink... therefore, I am."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)