Rural Story Fan Pillows

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

Please Drove Carefully.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

Mummy?!

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'Your barn door's open.'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Stunt Fly flying through a cow.

'I told her not to follow me!'

'Uh? A female vet?'

Scrooge McCow

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

Sheepdog protecting his master from road rage.

Close, but no cigar!

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

'Look, Dad - that's the sixth time she swallowed the same gum.'