Reader Of Rural Tales Gifts

"Why, no, Zeke, I didn’t read Jesse Barron’s interview with Rachel Kushner in the spring issue of The Paris Review."

Chase me, chase me cows.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Lamb Noise.

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"I can't afford to feed you."

'Your barn door's open.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

Maternity ward on the farm.

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

COW. JUST COW.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

Nice six-pack!

King Commute.

'Got any cud flavour?'

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

Now we wait for the show to begin!

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

'So I guess it's New Year!'