Rural Raconteurs Gifts

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

A Venus cow trap.

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

A bit of Newlyn.

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

'Your barn door's open.'

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

Extreme Sheepherding

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

COWS: Spare cow

"I'll need a three iron."

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'