Rural Storytellers Gifts

recycle farmers

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

I fart more than that!

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

A Venus cow trap.

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

A bit of Newlyn.

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

'Your barn door's open.'

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

Extreme Sheepherding

COWS: Spare cow