Rural Raconteur Gifts

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'I didn't think this is what they meant by a doctor shortage in the rural areas.'

Man Tries To Teach Horse To Jump.

Soap Box

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

"No one turned in a cow, pig or chicken Mr. McDonald."

"Hey girls, remember the traffic jam yesterday when we were changing paddocks? Front page today!"

Pond Village Store Generalists

"I grew up on a farm. In fact, I learned to ride a horse before I could walk!"

'I won't introduce you - he's an arable farmer. Absolutely arable.'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

Now we wait for the show to begin!

'The night cows fell on Alabama.'

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

A Boy Visits The Rector To Ask For Some Soup.

A farm worker taking advantage of his landlord who is in a hurry

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Chase me, chase me cows.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Farm Humor.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

I fart more than that!

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

A Venus cow trap.

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."