Farm Storytellers Gifts

'I became Free-Range a long time ago when I managed to pick the lock of my cage and escape...'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"I always knew you'd come back."

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

The Perfect Garden.

'Your barn door's open.'

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

A centi-stampede.

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"A beautiful baby. Who does he take after?"

Mrs Smith and her daughter - now and 40 years later...

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

'So much for your 'Big Brother!''

'So I guess it's New Year!'

Thanks for the heads up on the gelatinous cube!

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

Sheep has it's fur shorn into a tutu.