Food Storyteller Gifts

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

Cat eats date.

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'