Foodie Storyteller Gifts

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

Ranch Dressing

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'