Rural Life Imitator Gifts

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

"I can't afford to feed you."

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'