Rural Life Satirist Gifts

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Scarecrows guarding a field

A Venus cow trap.

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Clandestine cows.

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

COWS: Spare cow

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."