Romance Rekindler Gifts

"Now that the kids are grown and gone, I thought it might be a good time for us to have sex."

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

'How long is it since we've had sex?'

'A second honeymoon? - Are you asking for a do-over?'

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

Man on Oldflamesreunited.com website.

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

You're the olive in my martini

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

Jenga!!!

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'You know I can never stay mad at you. Get in here, ya big galoot.'

Wife to husband about water shot from lapel flower: 'When I said we should put the magic back in our marriage, Steve ...'

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

I think we're alone now!

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'We need to twerk.'

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

1619: Valentine's Day

"He used to be romantic. Now I'm trying to restore him to his default settings."

'THERE'S my mojo.'

"You've got a green light - use it!"

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

A couple in bed together with their phones.