Relationship Rekindler Gifts

"Yoo-hoo. Time to climb the stairway to paradise."

"Your idea of bringing the two of us closer together always seems to be for me to go with you to Bloomingdale's."

She - Interpreter - He.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

'We don't text anymore.'

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

Your relationship can thrive again but you've got to work on it. You've got to experience your feelings and express them. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Sadie, when Mort says that President Obama symbolizes a new era of hope and cooperation, how does that make you feel? Nauseated, insulted, disgusted by Mort's Pollyannaish wimpyness. Good, now say it to Mort. Here? In front of you?

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"She always gets the upper bunk."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'We need to twerk.'