Role-playing Gamer Gifts

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'You knew my alignment was chaotic good when you married me!'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Man with a cape

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He likes it."

Billy. The Kid.

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Little Princess.

'How about a game of cards?'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Little doctor.

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"