Role-playing Game Aficionado Gifts

'I told you to summon an orc, not a dork!'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'How about a game of cards?'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"They're class action figures."

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

Let the Summer Games Begin!

Existential Risk

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'It was worse than that ? I was slimed by a lawyer!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

'We're playing 'mummy'!'

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

"Hey I know, let's play bored kids hanging around after school."

'I still say I should be at the REAR end, Rodney!'

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

"Who the hell didn't rewind Jumanji 20 years ago?!?"

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

'You knew my alignment was chaotic good when you married me!'