Retirement Recluses Gifts

Heritage Acres

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

S. S. All You Can Eat

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'Not now Kato!'

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

'Your previous work experience... surely you jest.'

"Just because you're retired doesn't mean you get to sit around all day drinking beer and eating peanuts...!"

Dun spellchecking.

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

He was forced to take early retirement.

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

Beard, socks and sandals.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."