Retirement Rebels Gifts

"I don't believe in you. Besides, if you'r real, why do you need to worry about retirement investments? Aren't you timeless?"

"What have you got in guilt trips? We're spending our kids inheritance."

'When I'm a pensioner, I'll roll in mud, urinate against trees and eat you folks...'

"He retired at an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"So you see. . . I didn't 'fail' at retirement. . ."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

Retirement Issues

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

'I'm still stressed out.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'