Retirement Rebels Gifts

"I don't believe in you. Besides, if you'r real, why do you need to worry about retirement investments? Aren't you timeless?"

"What have you got in guilt trips? We're spending our kids inheritance."

'When I'm a pensioner, I'll roll in mud, urinate against trees and eat you folks...'

"He retired at an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"So you see. . . I didn't 'fail' at retirement. . ."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

Retirement Issues

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

'I'm still stressed out.'

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'