Retirement Renegade Gifts

The 'Jesse James' retirement plan for procrastinators.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Hiding the electronics.

Queen of Upcycling!

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

Music Freak.

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

Beard, socks and sandals.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Mary Quant.

'Pay back time on the ranch'

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

Cluster Catastrophe

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'I'm sixty-five. I'm retiring from being a house wife!'

"He retired at an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

'I think my work here is done.'

Unusual Retirement Plans

"I've crunched the numbers in your retirement account. It's time to figure out who will be wearing the mask and who will be driving the getaway car."

Old man with straw in gin.