Relaxation Renegade Gifts

A middle-manager relaxing on his day off...

Hiding the electronics.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Queen of Upcycling!

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

Music Freak.

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

'I'm still stressed out.'

Female Dominance.

Exams

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

'I play it to kill time.'

Mary Quant.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Complaints (just kidding).

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'